That’s right..I tried out my new baby which is hanging over the bathtub as these words are transfered from my fingers to the the internet which is then transmitted across the screen into your very own brain.
At 11 o’clock after midnight this morning, I make the one hour trip down- and crosstown to the Asphalt Green Tri Club pool on 91st and York. As I get there, I discover that there is some type of class trip/field/trip/birthday party going on there, and much to my dismay, it appears as if the pool’s taken! But alas…as I peak my head through the door secluding the men’s showers from the actual pool, I discover that is not the case. They’re only taking up half of the pool.
So I wiggle my way into my wetsuit, for an EXTREMELY tight fit. I don’t know how, but I figured out how to zip up the sucker all by myself, and once the zipper reached the bottom of my nape, I was good to go. Grabbed my water bottle, cap and goggles, and felt like a miniature-sized batman as I walked over to the pool. All eyes I passed turned towards my sleek black armor which would enable me to swim tens of minutes longer, and shave tens of seconds off my time. As that famous rapper once said, “Y’all act like you never seen a white person before.”
But I jest. It was apparent that my wetsuit was the object of their stares which shot ‘ENVY’ in oozing green letters right at my impenetrable armor of a wetsuit.
On to the swim…this suit is fast. I mean it’s fast. I moved through that water effortlessly, and I didn’t even have to move my arms or legs to stay afloat – vertically! I swam for 30 minutes, and could have gone longer, but decided not to. I figured I ought to get back before these people start coming over to me and asking to touch it…(shudder).
Oh. And I’m wearing my green Weezer shirt that a certain someone picked up for me at Bamboozle. This is your shout out. You know who you are…